


nothing

by zohe



Category: GOT7
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Friendship, Friendship/Love, M/M, Park Jinyoung | Jr.-centric, Semi-realistic I hope, Short One Shot, Sort of inspired by Tomorrow Today but not really, Written in Jinyoung's point of view, about Jaebum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 20:57:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11791326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zohe/pseuds/zohe
Summary: Jinyoung says nothing.As in, that’s the last word he says, voice gentle with a subtle sounding joy. And then there’s nothing. Because Jaebum doesn’t probe further, so there’s nothing.





	nothing

 

The wind blows and the door slam in the distance. It’s loud but not violent. And the water in the glass on the table shakes a little, doing a soft dance of some sort.

There’s a humming silence playing in the backdrop.

 

They’re a mess of limbs, sitting and resting, cosy and reading.

They’re not really moving, but time is, as it does all the time. The hands of the clock tick down from the top left corner of the room, keeping a steady rhythm. It’s never at a standstill, even though, for once, Jinyoung wishes that it was. He doesn’t want this moment to pass. Well, at least not so soon.

 

Jinyoung says _nothing_. 

As in, that’s the last word he says, voice gentle with subtle sounding joy. And then there’s nothing. Because Jaebum doesn’t probe further, so there’s nothing.

 

Only a nice silence taking root.

Only the slow flipping of pages.

Outside, you can hear the birds singing in mismatched tunes, legitimately tweeting melodies that required no technology.

 

But neither did they, because they were reading good old traditional paperback books. Yellowing pages and printed words coming to life in their hands, through their eyes.

 

They’re reading and Jinyoung hears the words sound out in his head. The author’s words through the filter of his lens and his mind, his voice and his interpretation. The room has an airy feel to it, it makes a great atmosphere for reading.

 

But maybe it’s also because of the company, he muses.

 

 _‘Nothing,_ ’ was the word that he said naturally, without much of a further thought.  

Nothing means nothing, but that _nothing_ meant something else. It meant something more than nothing.

Because ‘nothing’, means Jinyoung doesn’t need to explain why he was staring at Jaebum for the past how many odd seconds, looking at how the light rays pouring through the window gently touched Jaebum’s face, and smiled down on his skin. The way the sun illuminates his features through an array of golden hues and brought out a certain distinctive quality that was so uniquely Jaebum.  

How his long bangs carried a tint of muted orange, and barely touched below his eyebrows. The way Jaebum’s eyes shifted as he studies the words on the page. They were curious, shining and beautiful. They were focused but relaxed all the same.

 

Nothing could fully allow Jinyoung to describe the beauty he saw in those eyes, or the warm feeling that glowed in his chest – all at once so overwhelming, yet swirling a storm of calm, in gentle waves.

 

‘ _Nothing,’_ because _of course_ he hadn’t been looking. _Whatever in the world was Jaebum talking about_? He _must_ be mistaken.

 

…because Jinyoung wasn’t looking, he had been staring. Without realizing, without really intending to. It’s just that he happened to glance up, and his eyes settled on a brother of a friend he calls _hyung_ with an unmatched affection.

 

 

‘ _Nothing_ ,’ because that was when it struck him.

 

Suddenly, so alarmingly obvious it was strange that the thought never came to him earlier. He’s looking at this man sitting from across him – his legs crossed, eyes affixed on the book he’s reading.  Jinyoung hears the heavy curtains swaying in the wind, and the wind touches him lightly on his forehead and the loose strands of his hair.

 

Suddenly, he couldn’t imagine his life without this hyung.

 

All these years now, all the conversations, all the silences.

The late night snacks, the drunken chats, the serious confessions and crazy karaoke sessions. Those bright eyes, filled with drive and passion, with spots of kindness and concern. The smiles, the laughs, the angry fights… and the growing maturity that embraced them both, albeit in different ways.

 

There’s a lazy smile appearing on Jaebum’s face, and a fuzzy feeling erupts at the back of Jinyoung’s neck.

 

…there would be _nothing_ – none of this – without Jaebum.

Or, _he_ would be nothing without Im Jaebum.

 

And yet.

 

And yet.

All he could say was _nothing_.

 

His toes burn cold.

 

Because Jinyoung was glad.

To have met and known Jaebum, a dumb goofball of a person that matched his own unfunny jokes, made him laugh when he couldn’t, made him smile and couldn’t make him _stop_ smiling; a serious and thoughtful person, with an unwavering musical direction and passion that he personally shared and trusted; listened to his ideas, improved on them, taught him selflessly; a determined and confident leader who shouldered responsibilities like no other, never failing to make him amazed and impressed, but also sometimes worried as well. So with nothing said, Jinyoung would pitch in silently, contributing as much as he could, doing the leftover stuff, the in-between things, and the ever-important details that were sometimes glossed over.

 

But… there’s an unsettling ache in his heart. 

The wind hits the sides of his face, cold.

 

Because Jinyoung wasn’t _that_ glad, too.

 

Because nothing was said.

Between them.

Where, perhaps more than he’d like to admit, he had hoped there was _something_ rather than nothing.

 

But _nothing_ was all that was said, whether it was through his own mouth or Jaebum’s.

 

 

And… maybe that’s precisely because, he never wanted them to be nothing.

 

 

And so.

 

And so… it was all he could really hope for, wasn’t it? Because ‘ _nothing’_ was said, nothing changed.

And there they were.

 

Still the two of them, all these years now, a serene state of silence settling between them.

 

‘Nothing,’ the words glides across the room, thrown into the air, out for grabs.

 

Landed empty.

 

He is happy, Jinyoung thinks.

For now, that is enough.

 

 _Nothing_ , needed to change.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a conversation I heard that made me both happy and sad.   
> So this piece, as a little something to commemorate the little 'nothing's in life.


End file.
